The Elements of You
by supergy
Summary: SUMMARY: After a brief discussion with Indra, Lexa decides to show Clarke a tradition of the Ground, and pure emotion. What do you do when war is imminent and your people don't trust your love?


**The Elements of You**

 _Hello, all! In honour of the season 3 premier of The 100 (which aired last night in the US and was flawless) I mean, did you guys see the level of gayness we were blessed with yesterday? Beautiful. I had this little fic written for a while and I figured hey, why not go all out and do my part to contribute to rising levels of queer. Hope you guys are feeling the Clexa as much as I am whilst also thoroughly enjoying our experience of Niylah and Miller (plus Harper x Monroe?) because lord knows we deserve this. Let me know if the comments below if you guys were able to catch it last night and what you thought!_

 _Also, if you're a tumblr user, you can find me supergaysunday ( .com) so hit me up with some asks about this fic if you have any, or the show in general! I'm an isolated ball of nothingness as the list of people I know who watch this show is **far** too slim. Plus...there's also the benefits of my text posts and endless supply of The 100 jokes. _

_Anyways, hope you guys are having a nice day and enjoying the gay! Peace._

* * *

Lexa had been sat in her increasingly uncomfortable Throne as the dim fire crackled softly behind her, so deep in thought that she flinched when a familiar voice dragged her back to reality. Shoving her left hand in to her pocket, she quickly stood, her right hand instinctively reaching towards the knife cleverly concealed under her various layers of clothing above her hip.

"Indra-" she spoke firmly, allowing her hands to drop and shoulders relax. She brushed away a runaway strand of hair obscuring her vision. "I didn't hear you knock."

"I did." came an equally firm response, "We must speak about Clarke."

"Clarke?" Lexa asked, eyes slightly bulging, momentarily before she stuttered onward. "What about her? Is there a problem?"

"Perhaps." Indra turned away from her to face the entrance and pulled the entrance to the hut shut with a forceful grunt, ensuring nobody would be able to disturb them as easy as she was to disturb her commander. She waited for a few seconds in silence, listening for any potentially unwanted ears prying. Once satisfied the conversation would not leave the safety of the area, she took slow purposeful steps towards Lexa before the pair sat by side on an old wooden bench Lexa had refused to destroy, despite Indra's best convincing attempts due to her hatred of the old, creaky thing.

"What is it?" Lexa murmured, clenching her jaw before returning Indra's glare.

"The people do not trust her, Heda." Indra sighed deeply, tensions had been high from the minute the mysterious object had fallen from the sky and she suspected that events would never return to their previous situation with the strangers living so close and demanding so much. "Why do you?"

"She wants something- while she has an interest in us, we will be able to trust her people."

"And what about _our_ interest in her? In them?" Lexa shrugged, slightly uncomfortable with the topic in its entirety. In honesty, there was absolutely no reason Clarke, Bellamy, Octavia or any of those from the Ark, to be wandering freely amongst her people. They were the invaders- the self entitled, loud and obnoxious killers. Were they untrustworthy? Absolutely. Lexa had been told on countless occasions by a countless number of people that the Ark simply had to go. Yet, there it was. So close, so demanding and causing so many problems for Lexa. Her damage control seemed ruthless, but it had to be done. Gustus had to die to show her people that her word was not to be disobeyed. Finn had to die else Clarke would have been strung up by Lexa's angry warriors who wanted a show of strength, followed by the rest of the Arkers and then probably even herself. Total eradication of the Arkers would be ideal, but that had been tried and it had failed. Lexa has arrived- furious at the stories, the rumours and the myths about the Angels of Death who came from the Sky. Full of rage, she arrived ready to spare no resources in the mission to destroy the Sky people. Only to find that Anya had trusted them, Clarke anyway. And so, her rage subsided slightly. If someone she trusted, trusted Clarke to the point that her death was mourned by them both, then Lexa was willing to reserve judgement and look for what Anya saw in her. And she saw it. Immediately.

"It's what a leader does."

"Do not allow history to repeat itself." Was all Indra said, quieter than usual. Lexa had made it clear that Indra was not to hold her tongue around her, despite their show of unity on the front for the sake of their people, they clashed often and passionately on issues whilst they had the privacy to speak freely to each other.

"Do you mean to compare Clarke to Costia?"

"No, Commander. Instead, she is a Sky Person. That is always how she will be seen by our people, but -" Indra glanced towards Lexa's pocket upon remembering the young girls awkward movements when she had first entered the hut. "I suspect you already knew that. There will _always_ be another Gustus."

Lexa grunted, no longer willing to listen to such talk. All threats would be eliminated, by her personally if need be, no harm would come to Clarke or any of her people, for as long as she had a say in the matter. She stood abruptly, having her movements mirrored by Indra, who placed a careful hand on her shoulder.

"They have not yet embraced our traditions. And so we have not embraced them." Lexa narrowed her eyes slightly as her thoughts raced to unscramble themselves. She tried to think of all the ways that she could show her people Clarke was not a threat, in fact, she tried to think for _herself_ , all the reasons why she didn't believe Clarke to be a threat. Not convinced that her people would believe her own, like Clarke was sweet, caring and just as passionate about making their situations better as she was, oh and beautiful. Had she mentioned that? I mean, surely that was a selling point by itself. If not? the girl fought a beast three times her size, dragged her from certain death and literally fell from the sky without injury, why would that not be someone worth trusting? Or fighting proudly beside, at worst. That wasn't enough for Lexa and a strange twinge struck in the center of her chest at the thought. She knew Clarke was strong, by all accounts, she had proven so countless times and Lexa admired her for it, even if she didn't agree with her outlandish refusal to abandon a situation when hope is depleted. But the thought of Clarke fighting made her uneasy, she struggled to think why- continually pushing aside the reoccurring sentence that popped in to her head "I do not wish Clarke to get hurt" and instead, opting for more logical reasons like, "She is the only thing holding our truce together." She was, by anybody's standards, the primary reason this peace had occurred. Despite constant warnings and even threats on her own life prior to it- Lexa was completely captivated in every conceivable way by the blonde who fell from the stars. Even if she was untrustworthy, a small part of her felt as though it would be worth it in some regards. Her logical side had such a grasp over her that after Costia, she felt nothing. She was instead, the embodiment of survival. Every thought, action and emotion was not hers, but the collective feeling of her people. If they thought something needed to be done, she would do something, if they were happy, so were she. But then came Clarke. Clarke who brought a smile to her face, who's strange ways had her utterly intrigued from the minute she laid eyes on her and who's stories she awed over in disbelief. The sky girl could tell her a thousand untrue stories, but to each of them she would happily listen. Clarke, the girl who made her think about life as more than a Commander. _She_ surfaced. On top of it all, the blonde had began to revive the parts of her long shut off in her tragedy. The thought of having someone by your side, unconditionally, that wasn't Indra of course, after all this time made her heart swell. Still, she hesitated- thinking as an individual was dangerous, not just to her, but to everyone. A Commander does not faultier, nor does a commander feel. Lexa knew that despite her feelings for Clarke, she had little choice. If it ever came to it, she had to be prepared to sever any and all emotional ties to a person or persons that become a threat to their survival. Clarke was not an exception to this and she knew that she was not the exception to Clarke's. Years of progress would be undone and Lexa had always been taught that logic was more reliable than emotion. How can you rely on something that can so easily change? How can you depend on someone that could so easily vanish? Deep within, no matter how much she tried to reassure herself, and desperately hope that it wouldn't never reach that point, she knew that she and Clarke would slit each other's throats if they had to, because it's what they were born to do. Still, she hoped against hope that it could work. Maybe it was just crazy enough to happen, perhaps true happiness and peace would be found when the sky touched the ground.

Lexa shook the thoughts of an imminent betrayal, if that's what it could be called, from her already clogged up brain. She had allowed them to run wild without so much as a thought to how Clarke may be feeling, investing too much for too little was a risk. Clarke appeared equally as logical as her, after all. Lexa however, concluded that being broken by Clarke had to be better than breaking her. Happiness wasn't something easily achieved, and if there was even the slightest indication that the sky girl would be prepared to take the journey with her, then she would rather risk being stranded than allow Clarke to wonder how she herself felt. Maybe refusing to abandon a hopeless scenario, something that worked so well for Clarke, would work for them both.

"A commander has forever, Clarke does not." Lexa considered herself lucky that none of the sky people heard that- it may have sounded vaguely threatening, but the understanding for the young leader was instantaneous. Indra, had officially given Lexa permission to chase her happiness. Of course it was completely unnecessary because Lexa could and absolutely would, do whatever she so pleased as her title indicated, she needed no permission from anyone to do anything. _But it felt good_. Indra had been opposed to the alliance with the Sky at first- they all had, but Lexa suspected Octavia had a large part to play in her slow building tolerance and perhaps acceptance, of the foreigners wasn't a stretch too far. Their belief held that the commander was a single soul- simply taking on a new form after each death, and so, the commander lived forever. Clarke however, a mere mortal with limited resilience to death, had far less time upon the earth than Lexa desired for her, to find happiness. Death, destruction, pain and fear waited patiently to take its toll on every living soul, twist hope into nothingness and extinguish any trace of humanity. Life wasn't good, but Clarke was, and nothing bad existed when she was around. Happiness doesn't always feel like you expect it to, because sometimes _just_ feeling something was happiness in it's own right. The loss of Costia took the very fiber of Lexa's being and left complete nothingness in its place. A darkness that was only illuminated in the presence of a certain blonde. Few companions had passed since Costia, but none were the same. Lexa had accepted immediately that the love for held for her lost would never be replaced, but it could be replicated. That feeling of longing and wanting, the unrelenting desire to be forever close to another soul lives in all of us, even when we know the risks. It's never clear why we are so willing to open ourselves up to hurt, when that person who brings you to such great heights of joy also has the power to drop you. Love made you stronger, physically and emotionally, but it also made you _weak_. Costia had been specifically targeted by the Ice Nation for one reason- Lexa loved her. Anything to break the Commander. It's hard to open yourself to such heights when you know all to well how the fall feels. But Clarke, Clarke had quite literally been to heights Lexa couldn't even imagine, living amongst the very stars themselves. They knew the risks, Clarke was no fool and Lexa knew that something as miniscule as a _a threat_ to her very life would never be enough to deter Clarke from what she wanted! And so, she desperately hoped that thing Clarke wanted was _her_.

"She would take it?" Was all Lexa was able to force out, reluctant to speak freely, despite the recent reassurance that Indra appeared to harbor no animosity toward Clarke.

"She would be a fool not to," Indra smiled sweetly before removing her lightly placed hand of comfort from Lexa's shoulder "And you have assured us all that she isn't." With that, a small and brief smile flashed across Indra's face. She turned and left leave the hut, giving the bench a quick kick for good measure and assuring herself that _one_ day, she could exact her revenge on the seat that so often embedded small parts of itself into the depths of her flesh.

Lexa wasn't sure how the yellow ball in the sky came to be, but it gave off the same warmth that Clarke did. Like the light that shone through the darkness, making hope not so lost and extinguishing her fear, there was Clarke. The parallels between the goodness in the sky, and now, the goodness on the ground, led Lexa to the only logical conclusion that they were somehow connected. Perhaps that was where Clarke had lived. The place the Ark had fallen from. Or, perhaps it was something she sculpted with her bare hands once her mind grew tired of looking at the stars and her soul screamed into the blackness of the night for something to lighten her path. Both were natural observations to make, she thought. _Regardless_ , Lexa was thankful for them both.

Clarke had become a necessity to her, like the very elements themselves. She was the _bitterness_ in the air that stubbornly forced itself against her cheeks even when she had little time for such inconveniences and even tried to avoid it. She was the water, that trickled over her rocky thoughts to calm all it touched and the fire that burned her skin with desire and flames that engulfed her heart. Escaping her was impossible and she couldn't say with even the slightest hint of confidence, that escape was what she wanted. How just, Lexa thought, that their tradition of the exchange held these very elements in high regard.

"What's this?" Clarke asked, intrigued. Their nightly meetings had become almost a ritual. Neither of them had discussed why their conversations could not take place in the daylight, but their private talks were always of much different content. They would spend hours together each night, away from wanderings eyes and curious ears, talking. Clarke told her stories of the world, Lexa had of course, taken Clarke's clams of buildings that touched the skyline and floatation devices that could take you from one land to another, or giant mechanical birds that you could sit in and journey from one part of the world to the other, with a pinch of salt. Still, she enjoyed the spectacle of it all. Clarke loved the books of the past and Lexa could tell, so she never interrupted. Each night she and Clarke would take up their sitting positions, like school children, cross legged and face to face. The more in depth the stories became, the wilder Clarke's expressions would become, the more extravagant her gestures became, and the higher Lexa was lifted. History? It was great. Lexa loved the stories of the old world almost as much as she loved the world, but Clarke knew what was then, and it was Lexa who showed her the _now_. Once Clarke's stories were told and Lexa was thoroughly convinced of their fabrication, she took Clarke each night to see a different wonder. The first night, they went to the Lake of Health. This time, it was Clarke who listened to Lexa's fabrication, the story of Pali the healer. The healer, who helped everyone else, but never able to help herself. She had fallen from a horse and badly damaged her back, she was never able to walk and so, the Commander had called upon the Gods to bless the Lake, Pali was lowered inside and the next day, she had full use of her legs. Like Clarke, Lexa too vouched for her own stories authenticity and like Lexa, Clarke was skeptical. The truth of the stories they told and the wonders they visited however was never discussed nor was it ever a concern. Lexa would believe and remember every word Clarke ever spoke if she asked her to, and Clarke insisted the greatest wonder Lexa could show her, she saw the first time their eyes locked and the rest still unseen.

Clarke leaned towards Lexa. Her breath momentarily hiccupped in her chest when her hand brushed against the other girls, both reaching for the same object. "It's an exchange bottle." Lexa spoke quickly, fumbling to pick up the object in question from the table and hesitantly backing away from Clarke, clutching it dearly.

"I've never seen one before." Clarke furrowed her brow and stared intently at the bizarre object. It was a small bottle, she had seen bottles of such in Lincoln's back many times, but the content of this one was questionable.

"Likely. They're... _private_ , you see." Lexa looked down at the bottle and raised it high into the air, allowing the flickering fire to reveal it's content to an increasingly baffled Clarke. A small glass bottle, it had deep black flakes of dust sitting at the bottom reaching halfway up. Above that and separated by another thin piece of glass, a layer of water with a bright green leaf floating along the surface. The remaining section of the bottle near the top remained contentless.

"Oh?" Clarke asked, feeling as though she were intruding, but curious nevertheless. "What is it for?" She pressed.

"Well... _Clarke_ ," There was something innately invigorating about the way Lexa spoke her name. A deep husk of longing that seemed to fall so easily from the girls mouth and spoken so steadily, like it were the only word she knew. Each time she heard Lexa say it, she began to fall even more in love with it. A comfort surrounded her, the knowledge that her name, her very soul and existence, would always be safe in Lexa's world.

"It is the combining of the elements. They're the strongest forces we know. Look, look," Like an excitable child, she stepped agonizingly close to Clarke and lowered the bottle, looking down at what now lay in her open palm. As her excitement died down, so did Clarke's eyes as they both starred intensely at the small bottle before Lexa continued. "Fire- it consumes all in its path, simply because it must and knows of nothing else, but it also fights off the darkness that plagues us," She shook the bottle slightly, allowing the ash and the other content of the bottle to dance freely before they resettled. Lexa's gazed up at Clarke with the eyes that radiated affection. "Of course we don't gift _fire_ , that would be simply foolish, so instead we use the ash." She scoffed at the thought of potentially setting someone on fire and thus achieving the very opposition purpose the exchange signified, drawing a whole hearted laugh from Clarke. Lexa had to remind herself to breath as the scene before her knocked the very air from her lungs and tighten every muscle in her body. Gulping deeply and more than grateful for the sounds that filled her ears seconds before, she refocused attention on the bottle.

"A leaf, this is to show gratitude the very Earth that bore us whom we would not be here without. Then, the water, it has the potential for great change, but it always returns.. to its true state. To where and how it feels at _home_." Lexa smiled at the word, she had realised that _home_ wasn't a place- as much as she enjoyed Polis, she concluded that she would enjoy anywhere just as much so long as Clarke were there. Home was where you felt like you, and hers was definitely anywhere Clarke decided it would be. "Finally, there is the air. Our fight is over once it leaves us, but it then it fuels another. A part of who we once were is always around, giving our loved ones the strength they need."

"That's really beautiful, Lexa." Clarke sighed deeply. She knew her efforts to engage in Grounder traditions had been obsolete and she figured that had she and her fellow Arkers done more to understand their new neighbours, things wouldn't not have progressed as they had. "But I don't understand." Clarke confessed.

"As individuals, they have power and are valued," Lexa gestured towards the elements contained within the bottle. "But are useless without each other." This time, her dark eyes flicked upward momentarily to meet Clarke's eyes, and then down to her lips, before returning to the bottle. "So we combine them. And we gift it to someone we care for. As strong as you and I are," She inhaled deeply, taking it the scent of the lavender from Clarke's freshly washed hair, and exhaling fear. "We would be stronger together." Lexa closed her palm, resuming her _slightly_ too tight grasp on the small bottle and outstretched a shaky hand toward Clarke. "It's a promise. I could find these elements everywhere, and in everything- just like you. And it is exactly what I wish to see."

Clarke swallowed and looked down at the offering, lost for words and unsure what to do with this offering. Lexa hadn't explained this part to her and she didn't think it appropriate to ask and ruin the moment where the Commander of 12 tribes bore her very heart and practically handed it to her in a bottle. Lexa had found the words to describe what she never could and so, when the outstretched hand began to shake uncontrollably and the eyes that always looked at her with such care began to water, Clarke realised she had gone too long without responding. Unsure of what the correct response to this situation should be, Clarke brought her hand to cup the back of Lexa's neck and closed the short distance between them. Lexa's tension instantly melted away when she felt Clarke's lips on hers, her entire body relaxed so feebly that it took a conscious effort to retain her grip on the bottle that she eventually dropped into Clarke's famous leather jacket pocket before raising the same hand to caress the blonde's back. Running the loving hand downwards until she found Clarke's hip and gripped tightly, neither allowing their mouths to part even for a second as they moved ever closer, molding into one. Unlike their previous kiss three nights before, Lexa this time searched and failed to find the slightest hint of hesitation, only finding her weak attempts to withdraw resulted in Clarke leaning further forward. The brunette never imagined this outcome- it was simply supposed to be a reminder to Clarke. An acknowledgement of her reluctant, but a promise that she would wait as long as necessary, as long as Clarke needed her to. Clarke it seemed, had other ideas.


End file.
